2017 has come and gone, and with it, the 365-day blur of physical genius/stupidity affectionately known as “sports.” So to celebrate another incredible year of Rube Goldberg-approved trick shots, side-splitting (literally) parkour fails, and NBA Instagram shade, we’ve gathered our favorite viral moments of the past 12 months, handed each of them ribbon, and sent them on their way. If 2018 can’t raise the soccer-fan-getting-his-junk-obliterated-by-an-escalator bar, then hopefully it runs into said bar headfirst and remembers to keep the camera rolling.
Press Conference of the Year
This one was a runaway. The guy who dressed up like freaking Zorro. Come on.
Runner-Up: This good dog, because this is the internet and the internet runs on good dogs.
“A real man makes his own luck. - Billy Zane, Titanic” - Dwight Schrute.
Coolest Potentially Deadly Animal Encounter
This mongoose fighting a cobra on a South African golf course, which also doubles as a good reminder to just go back to Ireland for your golf vacation next year.
Runner-Up: Bullwinkle’s revenge.
Atlanta Hawks basketball, ladies and gentlemen.
Runner-Up: The Colorado news anchor whose career ended when she tried the One Chip Challenge on live TV.
Least Adjusted Georgia Fan
The Georgia fan who drove around Atlanta with a flatscreen playing the SEC Championship game on loop strapped to the back of his hummer…
The Georgia fan who woke his Auburn neighbor up with a megaphone at 8am on the Sunday after the SEC Championship game.
Runner-Up: Whichever of these idiots loses. ROUND 1, FIGHT!
Most Egregious Violation of Golf Etiquette
Runner-Up: Stop the ride, we want to get off.
Catch of the Year
Runner-Up: Allison Stokke.
Best #BillsMafia Bender
Just another tailgate in paradise.
Weirdest Weird Beard Moment
Pat Maroon stroking Brent Burns’ beard mid-scrum (and Burns being totally cool with it for some reason).
Runner-Up: The hot new trend of hanging ornaments in your beard and then hopefully falling into an open manhole.
Most, Umm, Creative Swing
Runner-Up: The exorcism.
Best Loosely Sports-Related Beer Moment
This chick, who received roughly 1.5 million DM proposals after her Beer Olympics gold medal went viral. Also shout out to face guy. Face guy makes it.
Runner-Up: This human anatomy-defying, 93-Coors Light Stanley Cup Finals receipt.
Best Hockey Thing
John Schiavo, American Sniper.
Runner-Up: The youth couch who gave his team of 10-year-olds a halftime speech that would make Richard Pryor blush and now isn't allowed to coach 10-year-olds anymore.
Most Patently Ridiculous College Football Alternate
You know, the one designed to look like an actual alligator...
Runner-Up: ...Or the one with the cross-country skiing, machine gun-wielding panda on the cleats.
Trickest Trick Shot
Runner-Up: Fast and the Furious Fore.
Fan of the Year
Runner-Up: The dude who used his obituary to bash the Eagles one final time. RIP buddy, at least you didn't live to see Wentz blow his ACL.