America's Team

Bubba Watson comparing the 4 Aces to the Dallas Cowboys and New York Yankees might be the funniest LIV quote yet

January 31, 2023

Of all the innovations LIV Golf has sought to bring to professional golf—54-hole tournaments, shotgun starts, airing after ‘Riverdale’ reruns—teams are its most essential. In theory, players can no longer compete in their own individual silos, heads down, blinders on. In theory, it gives fans an entity, not an individual, to cheer for. We all love the Ryder Cup and it’s considerably less creepy to wear a shirt with the team Punch logo than Cam Smith’s face. Those are the things we know for certain.

What we don’t know is how this will all play out over the long haul, but that didn't stop Bubba Watson from getting wildly (perhaps delusionally) optimistic about the team-based potential of golf’s disruptor circuit this week, delivering one of the most hilarious LIV Golf quotes of the month week day past 10 minutes. Dig in.

Put aside the sportswashing allegations, the lawsuits, TeeGate, TreeGate, the CW jokes, and Greg Norman’s sneer. Try to ignore the fact that this pithy parable is about as believable as a high-stakes footrace between a tortoise and a hare. Wipe the slate totally clean for one minute. 60 measly seconds. That’s all we ask:

Bubba Watson just compared the 4 Aces to the Dallas Cowboys.

THE DALLAS COWBOYS, AMERICA’S TEAM! Oh and also THE NEW YORK YANKEES, WINNERS OF 27 WORLD SERIES TITLES! A lot of sidesplitting, eyebrow-raising, face-palming stuff has been said since LIV’s Kool-Aid Man-esque arrival on the scene last winter, but this? This takes the cake.

First of all, the 4 Aces actually win, so the Cowboys comparison is immediately bunk. Second of all, the Cowboys' current valuation as an individual franchise is somewhere in the ballpark of eight billion dollars. The Yankees clock in at a cool six billion. The 4 Aces, well, they're worth slightly less.

Finally, when LIV Golf set out to make golf more palatable for a youthful, fun-loving audience with loud music, splashy branding, and a roster of famous assholes, they weren't targeting the 10-year-old demographic. 10-year-olds don’t have income and are on strict screentime limits. This story, if even remotely true, is not the good sign Watson thinks it is. But hey, at least it was good for a laugh. Thanks Bubba, we needed that.