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The Loop

Get That PIP

Caddie content factory Geno Bonnalie is back with a hilarious nursery rhyme about diva tour pros

Geno Bonnalie is a machine. The PGA Tour caddie eats content for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and when he lays his head down at night, he does so on a pillow viral videos. In fact, Joel Dahmen might want to add a non-compete clause to their contract, because the man is running a full second business in his spare time. Whether eating the hottest chili pepper known to man, reviewing terrible tour accommodations, putting on a clinic in on-the-go cuisine, or literally leaping off cliffs to rescue his player’s signature headwear, Bonnalie is on a constant content grind. Despite being mere days removed from a tough major weekend, Bonnalie continued that grind on Monday with his first foray into children’s lit.

There’s no rest for the wicked, folks.

Bonnalie himself acknowledges that this isn’t his most polished work (that honor probably goes to this), but it’s still 10 times better than what most of these working stiffs are putting out on a weekly basis. It also offers an honest and interesting glimpse inside the tour pro-caddie relationship, which is really more of an evil-step-mom-to-Cinderella dynamic, to hear Bonnalie tell it at least. Here’s an excerpt:

TOUR PRO: Where are you staying this week, is it someplace nice?

CADDIE (insignificant grovelling pipsqueak voice): Why yes sir it is, there’s hardly any mice. What about you, sir? How is your loft?

TOUR PRO: The place reeks of lavender and my sheets are too soft.

All in all, solid stuff from the caddie content king. Now just one question remains: Are caddies eligible for a cut of that PIP dough, because this man deserves it.