Working Hard or Hardly Working?

Rob Gronkowski says he doesn’t watch film, doesn’t run red zone drills, and doesn’t practice Fridays, has cushiest job in America

September 21, 2021

In 2019, Rob Gronkowski was done, dusted, retired. He was living la vida loca with his swimsuit model girlfriend, doing a talking tour about how football ruined his life, and gearing up to start his NFL broadcasting career on Fox. Then Tom Brady blew his magical conch shell and Gronk came running.

The rest, including a Super Bowl LV ring, Gronk’s fourth, is history.

At the time, Gronk’s unretirement was a baffling decision—another example of Tom Brady warlock-like sway over earth and its creatures—but the more we learn about Gronk’s arrangement in Tampa, the more it begins to make sense. On Monday night, Gronk joined the Peyton-Eli Monday Night Football broadcast, and dished on his weekly preparations, including his unique film strategy of not watching film.

“I know Tom watches like, I don’t know, 40 hours of film a week.” Gronk explains. “So I go ‘Tom, who’s covering me this week? What type of coverages are they doing? I go, ‘That’s why I love playing with you, Tom’ …” at this point Gronk’s dog starts barking on the live broadcast, putting a very Gronk end on another very Gronk story.

If you think that sounds cushy, however, just wait. Gronk also revealed that he doesn’t practice on Fridays because Fridays are red zone day, and he doesn’t need red zone practice because he is, and we quote, “Red Zone Robby G already, baby.”

Well, that settles that then.

Clearly this is a big fat L for “the process” zealots across the NFL. Gronk’s "process" is to lift some weights, film a T-Mobile commercial, and somehow find his way back to the stadium in time for kickoff. But football is nothing if not a results-driven business, so as long as Robert Gronkowski Gronk Red Zone Robby G keeps delivering the goods, you won’t hear any complaints from us.