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Mets manager Buck Showalter had an all-time response to Pete Alonso getting rocked in the face by a 95-mph fastball

We’re less than 24 hours into a new MLB season, and already the bad blood is beginning to boil. Down in Atlanta, Ronald Acuna Jr. could be heard firing shots at the dearly departed Freddie Freeman on TikTok. In the Bronx, the Yankees and star slugger Aaron Judge still haven’t reached an extension with the deadline looming and fan sentiment souring. Like everything else in America, however, the nexus of hate on Thursday was Washington D.C., where the Nationals beaned their dreaded division rivals the New York Mets three times—two of them upstairs—on Opening Day, setting the tone for the season series to come.

Of all the evening’s plunks, though, the final specimen was the scariest, with Pete Alonso taking 95-mph fastball from Nats reliever Mason Thompson right to the kisser in the top of the ninth inning. The chin music sent Alonso to the dirt like a sack of wet potatoes as Mets nation slipped into collective cardiac arrest.

It was a potentially ugly scene, but thankfully the reigning back-to-back Home Run Derby popped right up and manager Buck Showalter was able to have a (teensie, eensie) little bit of fun with it after the game.

If you had “Buck Showalter says Pete Alonso has sexy lips” on your Opening Day bingo card, congratulations. You earned this one. Showalter wasn’t the only one loving Alonso’s new look, however, with the Mets’ first baseman sharing his botox-free makeover on Instagram after the game.

It feels like Pete Alonso is living out some sort of baseball ‘Final Destination’ right now, escaping harm in a serious spring training car accident and now this. Here’s hoping his run of near misses and lucky escapes continues, because the Mets are going to need his bat (and those plump puckerers) if they want to make a run at the pennant this season.