Matt Araiza boots 90-yard punt (!!), wins college football weekend, deserves the Heisman
Good morning to you, fellow college football fan. I have but one question for you to ponder as you sip your morning coffee, or nibble on your "Diet Starts Monday" salad for lunch, depending on when you're reading this.
Who deserves to win the Heisman Trophy right now?
You may be saying one of two things - 1. Who cares, the Heisman ain't what it used to be, or 2. It's still too early to tell. Both valid points, but the Heisman debate is one of the college football fan's greatest pastimes, and a little more arguing over unimportant things is exactly what the internet needs.
As of right now, none of the the top six favorites, five of which are quarterbacks, stand out as THE clear-cut guy. Favorite Bryce Young has very solid numbers but his Crimson Tide haven't been rolling teams like they normally do. Michigan State running back Kenneth Walker appeared to have one hand on the trophy following his five touchdown game against Michigan, but Sparty's loss to Purdue this past Saturday might have hurt his case. Ole Miss quarterback Matt Corral and Ohio State quarterback CJ Stroud have had their statistical moments, but they would each need a monster finish to the year to leap frog everybody. Oklahoma quarterback Caleb Williams has been playing catch-up since being named starter, and ACC QBs Sam Hartman (Wake Forest) and Kenny Pickett (Pittsburgh) each needed to win out to have a legitimate shot, but they both suffered brutal losses recently, Pickett the week prior against Miami and Hartman on Saturday at North Carolina.
Odds are, someone mentioned in the hopefully-coherent ramble session above is winning the award, but might we suggest a write-in candidate who appears to be gaining steam on social media - San Diego State punter Matt Araiza.
Yes, folks, we said punter. And yes, we have gassed him up in our "Helmet Stickers" section before, so we aren't late hopping on the Araiza bandwagon. The dude has an absolute howitzer for a left leg, one that booted the ball 90 yards in the effing air on Saturday night in Hawaii. With this one punt, Araiza won the college football weekend:
Unfortunately Araiza only gets credited for 79 yards here, but that ball went 90 yards in the air and therefore it is a 90-yard punt. This man is a WEAPON. That punt marked the 15th time this year Araiza smashed one at least 60 yards, which set a FBS record. If you watch the clip again, you'll notice Hawaii actually has two guys deep, one at around the 30-yard line and the other at the 10-yard line:
Absurd. Sadly, Araiza has no chance of winning the Heisman Trophy, but if we campaign hard enough on Twitter, anything is possible. What we do know for a fact is that he is winning the Ray Guy Award, and that Bill Belichick is already salivating over using a second-round pick on him in the 2022 NFL Draft.
(In this section, we'll dole out helmet stickers for those who *almost* won the weekend.)
Five Helmet Stickers: This Iowa State fan
If you need a refresher on what this sign is depicting, here is a solid place to start. The short version: Texas special teams coach Jeff Banks is dating a stripper named Pole Assassin who owns a pet monkey that she uses in her act, and said pet monkey's jaws had to be pried of a small child who was trick-or-treating on Halloween. This story is somehow a week old and already forgotten, but it should not be. It's arguably the most insane sports story of 2021, which is obviously saying a LOT. OK, now look at the sign again and you'll see what the message is. Incredible stuff, good sir. Iowa State won 30-7, but this sign made it feel a little more like 1,000,000,000-7.
Four Helmet Stickers: Kirby Smart on a hot mic
Have to love this if you are a Georgia fan. It exudes Nick Saban energy. Kirby's defense has yet to give up more than 14 points this season, the team is undefeated, they wound up rolling Mizzou like they were expected to, and he's still screaming his head off at either the ref or one of his players. Kirby's challenge over the next three weeks will be to keep his team up for the likes of Tennessee (possible trap game), Charleston Southern (massacre) and Georgia Tech (likely a massacre). We all know what's waiting for the Dawgs after that.
Three Helmet Stickers: The Arizona State fox
It's been a big year for animals running around and causing chaos inside of sports stadiums. The two that garnerned the most attention were the cat in Yankee Stadium during the summer and the cat inside of Hard Rock Stadium that was hanging from the rafters way back in Week 1 (different cats, we think). The new king of the sports stadium jungle, though, is the fox that made an appearance at the Arizona State-USC game in Tempe:
Judging by the way this poor fella hopped and ran up the stairs, it was likely terrified. The good news is it escaped and someone happened to be filming that, too, because the internet sees literally everything:
ASU, of course, got the dub. Forks Foxes Up.
Two Helmet Stickers: Trick Plays
*Extreme Bill Simmons voice* Are trick plays having a moment?
Just a ridiculous amount of trickeration in Week 10. Was there some sort of talking points email sent out to all the coaches? Never seen so many teams go this deep into their trick-play bag in the same week. Awe-inspiring stuff. Save some for bowl season, guys.
One Helmet Sticker: This Colorado cheerleader
Let's keep our head on a swivel in Week 11, kids.