Texas Children's Houston Open

Memorial Park Golf Course



The Loop

Kyle Brandt absolutely torched Russell Wilson on ‘Good Morning Football’ after Thursday night’s Justin Fields-like performance

October 07, 2022

'Sup haters. If you’re here for the Russell Wilson slander, like virtually every other person on football Twitter this morning, then you’re going to have some fun. “One of the least authentic personalities we have in this league,” “a poser,” “Mitch Trubisky.” Those are just a few of the things Kyle Brandt called Wilson on ‘Good Morning Football’ following his terrible, no good, very bad performance against the terrible, no good, very bad Colts on Thursday Night Football. Check it.

Yeouch. Earth done scorched. But here’s where things take a bit of a twist. If you’re feeling for your old pal Mr. Unlimited this morning, now it's your turn to get your kicks, because, as entertaining as it may be, this is some Grade-A, angus-certified bullshit. As far as football pundits ago, Brandt is normally pretty astute. He’s usually on the right side of things. But the engagement numbers over NFL HQ must have been a bit sluggish after Thursday’s 12-9 slugfest, so he took Russ' advice, saddled up the take pony and rode like hell.

For starters, it’s no coincidence that Wilson, who was the NFL’s beloved little nerd in Seattle—who wasn’t even on the hook for throwing an interception on the one-yard-line to lose A FREAKING SUPER BOWL—became public enemy number one as soon he signed his massive new deal with the Broncos. The whole eccentric schtick was celebrated when Russ was a plucky former third-rounder with a small hands, but now he’s suddenly a skeevy weirdo creep because he gets paid more money? Narratively, nothing could be less surprising or less interesting. “Get your bag!” Brandt and his ilk will shout from their soapboxes, only so they can call you "overpaid!" as soon as you do. People hate other people’s success. This isn’t a football thing. It’s a human one.

Also, do you know who’s getting paid more than Russell Wilson this year and who has also been painfully mediocre? Aaron Rodgers, one of the great, allegedly beloved locker-room guys Brandt says Wilson isn’t. AARON RODGERS! The same guy who throws his young receivers under the wheels of the bus every chance he gets? The same guy who former teammates freely admit to loathing? The same guy who left his teammates out to dry last summer while chasing waterfalls with Shailene and who purposefully obfuscated his vaccination status while the rest of the team had to follow NFL protocol? But wait, it gets even more laughable.

The other guy Brandt compares Wilson to not just as a player but as a capital-M Man and Capital-T Teammate? TOM BRADY! This dude platformed Alex Guerrero, a man indicted by federal authorities for DEFRAUDING CANCER PATIENTS, almost single handedly helping him to build a multi-million-dollar empire. He vouched for AB long past AB’s vouching-for date. He put MAGA hats in his locker, talked with teams about ditching New England months before he actually did and, if you believe what you hear, probably retired and unretired this offseason simply as leverage to get Bruce Arians fired, all while lying to his wife about it.

And to really put the cherry on top, on Thursday night before kickoff Brandt spent an entire segment of his YouTube show calling the negative Wilson takes “premature.” We really wish we were making all this up, but we couldn’t if we tried.

So where is all this coming from? What has Brandt so fired up about Wilson? “I worked the NFL honors, I worked the red carpet,” Brandt recalls toward the end of his diatribe, apropos of nothing. “Kelce comes by, Rodgers comes by. Russell Wilson shows up with his sunglasses and wife and I think they think they’re Jay-Z and Beyonce. And they literally put their hand up and say no we’re not talking. Why? Because you think you’re that cool and you’re that famous and you’re that amazing and everything is so perfect.”

So there you have it. Russell Wilson once stiffed Kyle Brandt on the red carpet at a pat-yourself-on-the-back NFL awards gala no one has ever heard of. Now it all comes together. The puzzle pieces click into place. Now we know why, to hear Brandt tell it, Wilson is the first guy in NFL history to make a lot of money, do a cringey sub commercial, join a new team with a first-year head coach, and not play well his first five games. Thanks for the hard-hitting, totally unbiased analysis, Kyle. Enjoy the clicks.