Mr. Unlimited

The GOAT of cringe, Russell Wilson, somehow out-cringed himself in this obscenely awkward Subway 'Dangerwich' ad

September 28, 2022

If social media has taught us anything in 2022, it's that everything you see is very likely scripted and/or staged for maximum engagement. Outside of drunk tailgating videos during football season, nothing you see is "organically" viral.

And yet, when it comes to content involving Mr. Unlimited himself, Russell Wilson, it's impossible to tell the difference between staged and real. Wilson is as genuinely awkward and cringey as it gets, which causes everything he does to viral. Those "Broncos Country, lesss ride" videos were simply Russ being Russ, and Russ being Russ gets clicks. Subway, the sandwich giant, obviously took notice of that and decided to use Wilson for an advertisement for the "Dangerwich," Wilson's signature new sando. 

In the obscenely awkward ad, Wilson, the least-dangerous human roaming the planet, hawks his "dangerously good" sub, chewing it extremely loudly and creepily whispering at us to "be carefulll though" because the sandwich is spicy. Not real spicy, though, just Russell Wilson spicy (there are banana peppers on it. LOOK OUT). 

This is a legitimate stroke of genius from Subway. Just simply let Russ cook, and by cook we mean be his awkward-ass self. The internet will then dunk on him ad nauseam, constantly sharing the video and quote tweeting their takes. All the while, Subway keeps shoving the Dangerwich down your throat, literally and figureatively. Whoever came up with this idea should be promoted right this very second. 

Greg here could not be more wrong. Subway is laughing at everyone sharing this video. You cannot draw it up any better. 

Alright, I'm out. Going to get the Dangerwich.