We're Going Streaking
Hats off to Kevin Harlan for saving the worst Super Bowl ever with this incredible streaker call
Super Bowl LV was a stinker. A snoozer. An absolute masterclass in unmet expectations. A so-called matchup for the ages (Nantz’s words, not ours), it was supposed to be a battle between the greatest quarterback ever and the greatest quarterback right now. It was supposed to be a showdown of two nitrous oxide-fueled offenses and two crazy-genius coaches. At the very least, it was supposed to be fun. Instead, it was a blowout in which one team never left the locker room and the other was just a bad case of deja vu. The commercials were preachy, random, or just plain dumb; the fans cardboard cutouts, literally and metaphorically; and the halftime show good for about one meme, far below its yearly meme average. Hell, even Russell Wilson looked bored, and that dude loves everything.
There was one moment, however, that nearly redeemed the entire night in one fell, scantily clad swoop. Late in the fourth quarter, a random Florida Man came streaking onto the field, wearing nothing but a pair of basketball shorts and a bright pink thong leotard (the international uniform of all Florida Men, in case you were wondering.) Patient zero of whatever new strain of coronavirus you catch from stripping down in a Raymond James Stadium restroom then dodged security, pulled down his pants, and turned up the sideline before being tackled by security at the goal line a la Kevin Dyson. But it wasn’t his performance that will go down in Super Bowl LV lore, it was Kevin Harlan’s, who called the entire episode with the zeal of a game-winning drive on NFL Radio. Take it away, king.
We're partial to the context-less absurdity of this version, which really lets you hone in on Harlan’s delivery, but there is footage of the pink thong man synced with Harlan's call, should that be something you wish to assault your eyeballs with this morning.
Now Harlan has issued some legendary soundbites down the years—who could forget his classic Ole Miss baby race call or that time he helmed two NFL games at once without breaking a sweat—but none have come on a bigger stage with more on the line than this one. America deserved more than Bruce Springsteen slinging Jeeps and Gronk Gronkowski catching Gronks, and in the dying moments of an already dead game, Harlan delivered for all of us.