If Bryce Harper doesn't end up on an episode of 'Always Sunny in Philadelphia', we riot
Bryce Harper has been a Phillie for less than two weeks, but he's already fitting in nicely. Without setting foot in the City of Brotherly Love, Harper has already pissed off the entire MLB by tampering with Mike Trout and refusing to apologize for it and sparked a baseball virgin fervor when the Blue Jays experimented with a four-man outfield against him during a Spring Training game on Saturday. He's crawled under just about everyone's skin without even taking a meaningful cut, and honestly, what could be more Philly than that (besides throwing batteries at Santa, of course.)
And yet, Harper's transformation to true Philly Phanatic (or d-bag, depending on what bank of the Delaware you grew up on) won't be complete without one final trial—a harrowing ascent to the loftiest peak Philadelphia celebrity has to offer: A cameo on Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Thankfully for Bryce, and humanity as a whole, the wheels on the yellow Countach are already in motion...
It all began innocently enough on Monday, when the Phillies tweeted a subtle homage to the greatest musical moment in television history (suck it Sound of Music.) But things quickly took a turn for serious town when Always Sunny creator and certified master of karate Rob McElhenney chimed in—in full character, no less—hoping to score a game of catch with Nick Foles's spiritual replacement. Finally, just as the silence reached a deafening roar, Harper replied and the bromance was born.
Obviously this is all building to one thing and one thing only: The Always Sunny athlete episode to rule them all and in the darkness bind them. We've seen Chase Utley and Ryan Howard in the past...
But there's no doubt that Bryce would be the show's biggest coup yet, and now that we've let our imaginations run away with us, we won't be denied it. We refuse. Bring him to the Jersey Shore and chug rum ham. Invite him to a game of Chardee MacDennis. Hell, let him play Riggs in Lethal Weapon 6 if you have to, but whatever you do, esteemed FX producers, get Bryce Harper on Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The universe swells to it.