Stop This Man
Chase Claypool is such a massive troll he’s even trash talking NHL teams now
Over the past decade, the Pittsburgh Steelers—once a stronghold of hard-nosed football—have churned out one diva wideout after the next. Antonio Brown walked so JuJu Smith-Schuster could run and JuJu Smith-Schuster ran so Chase Claypool could blast off into the stratosphere. The third-year wideout is now the Steerlers’ CTO (chief troll officer), a title made official when he decided to drag the Cleveland Browns AFTER LOSING TO THE CLEVELAND BROWNS. That, folks, takes some serious chutzpah.
But so great have Claypool’s powers for annoyance become—so voluminous his capacity for idiocy—that he is no longer content to conquer the world of football. So on Thursday he spread his wings and soared, like a seagull trying to steal your lunch, right into the Rogers Arena. There he was granted access to a microphone for some reason, and he didn't blink, dragging the Calgary Flames to the woodshed and back following their 7-1 loss to the Canucks.
Now it’s worth noting that Claypool theoretically has a horse in this race. He was born and raised in Abbotsford, British Columbia, a stone’s throw east of Vancouver. But we don’t care if he has the Sedin twins tattooed on his back. Enough is enough. The man has already turned the AFC North into a TikTok pillow fight. The last thing we need is him ruining is hockey too. Let him go back to Notre Dame and troll B.C. for being the wrong kind of Catholic or whatever. Let him stick to bashing the Brownies. Who cares. But hockey is not ready for Chase Claypool and we promise, if he keeps running his mouth, Chase Claypool will soon learn he is not ready for hockey.