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Bud Light unveils 2019 college football cans because college kids weren't drinking enough Bud Light already

August 13, 2019
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For years now, Bud Light has made a killing with their annual NFL team cans, which have given many a proud American the courage to not only watch their shitty team Sunday-in, Sunday-out from September to January, but also choke down a few stale pints of the pale yellow hops seltzer while they're at it. This year, however, Anheuser-Busch is upping the questionable football beer ante with a run of college football cans that are sure to have dorm rooms across America awash in giant, suspiciously clinking trash bags. Behold the unparalleled triumph of marketing synergy below:

The cans represent Alabama (white and maroon), Virigina Tech (orange), LSU (tiger logo), Texas A&M (um, white and darker maroon), Texas Tech (red), and Iowa (yellow and black), but come with one major caveat: Only LSU has agreed image rights for can and packaging, which means the college football cans are essentially just weird colored Bud Light for the admittedly small portion of Bud Light drinkers who don't spend autumn Saturdays beaming Big Ten Network into their eyeholes for 12 straight hours.

To a certain degree, Bud Light is just preaching to their own choir here. Hard-pitching Bud Light to college kids and jersey-clad alum is like selling water to fish and will likely only eat in to their own Natty Light sales. Far be it for us to critique Budweiser's marketing strategy, however. From the Budweiser Frogs to Dilly Dilly and every magic fridge in between, Bud Light has found excellent ways to shill average product for years now and this latest move is probably just another stroke of genius. Well, until Nick "Pre-Ripped Jeans Are the Biggest Problem Facing Humanity Today" Saban gets wind of it, that is...