The Loop

Love Stinks

Safe to say Alex Rodriguez is taking his breakup with Jennifer Lopez pretty hard

April 15, 2021

Well folks, it’s official: After a whirlwind two years of life, love, and, of course, laughter, Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez—AKA J-Rod—are officially splitsville. The news came down on Wednesday night after weeks of rumors which the couple themselves denied, plunging America into a Mariana Trench of tears. If you need a moment, we completely understand.

If you think you’re hurting, however, just imagine being A-Rod this morning, waking up know you let J-Lo go. From the looks of things on the old Rod ‘gram last night, it doesn’t seem like it was a mutual split either. Cue the waterworks once more.

Wow. Just wow. Listen, we’ve all been there before, and let us just say this: That is a man GOING THROUGH IT. You may think A-Rod is too rich and famous to care, but you know who is even more rich and famous? J-Lo. I mean, the dude has a literal shrine to his ex and he’s posting it for his 4 million IG followers while listening to some indie rock minutes after their breakup. That is some HUGE Michael Scott energy.

So today let’s join together as one nation and offer A-Rod a pat on the back. Red Sox fans. PED crucifiers. Anthony Edwards. Come one, come all. Instead of kicking him while he’s down, let’s pick up him instead. Maybe just maybe, in that way, we’ll all find the love we’re looking for.