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Meet the New Boss

Minnesota Timberwolves’ rookie Anthony Edwards has no idea who A-Rod (A-Rod!!!) is

April 14, 2021

Knowledge is generational. What a past generation knows about the world the next may not, and vice versa. That doesn’t make one better or worse, only products of their environment and era. Every now and then, however, something becomes so ubiquitous to a single generation that they cannot comprehend that someone else may have a different knowledge of, or experience with, said constant, given, landmark, or staple.

On Tuesday night, that distinct honor belonged to Alex Rodriguez.

At this point, we feel like we should probably point out for our younger audience that that’s not A-Rod (note for the kids: we call him A-Rod, because “Alex” starts with “A” and “Rod” is short for “Rodriguez”). That’s actually Minnesota Timberwolves' number-one-overall draft pick Anthony Edwards, a 19-year-old star-in-the-making who, when asked his thoughts but A-Rod’s pending purchase of the Minnesota Timberwolves and Lynx, had one tiny little question of his own:

“Who is he?”

This is not to shame Ant (note for the old heads: the kids call him “Ant” because that’s short for “Anthony”), but HOLY COW, A-ROD!? This is probably the single most talented baseball player we’ve seen in our lifetimes (here come the Griffey stans). The mega-contract poster child from which all other mega-contract poster children have sprung. Quite possibly the biggest cheater in American sports history. J-LO’S BOYFRIEND!? RING ANY BELLS!?

Yet somehow, to Edwards and probably millions of others who have faded away from America’s pastime, A-Rod is just some rich guy buying a bad basketball team. It’s hard to believe, but it doesn’t make it any less true. That said, Ant better hop on YouTube (do the kids still know what YouTube is?) and check out some highlights. You don’t have to care about A-Rod, but you do have to care about your new boss . . .