News
Watch Roger Goodell run a 5.41 40 in a really expensive suit
As the Combine rages on in the Rust Belt, the NFL's swinging [redacted] are up to their usual hi-jinx back at NYC HQ, lunching on chateaubriand while scoffing at the plight of the proletariat 90 floors below. There are some voids Pavarotti and 12,000-pound mahogany desks can't fill, however, so on Monday afternoon, NFL commissioner and consummate Man of the People Roger Goodell descended upon his probably way-too-busy-for-this-shit staff like Michael Scott on the warehouse, reinforcing his obvious everyman-ness with the Viral Sports Clip of the Day™. Don't blink or you'll miss it:
Yes, that's actually Goodell—not some mutant cyborg clone of Donald Trump or like one of the bug body snatchers from Men In Black—running a pretty damn impressive (though ultimately unofficial) 40 in a full suit with 30 cubicle dwellers watching on, praying for a maximum velocity face-slide. According to Twitter anecdote king Darren Rovell, that's only .13 tenths of a second slower than what a pre-magic-whey-powder Tom Brady ran at the 2000 Combine, perhaps the single best-worst Combine highlight of all time.
So in closing, Roger Goodell is faster than you thought, which is both temporarily interesting and probably still not enough to keep his soul booed into a million little pieces at the Pizza Hut NFL Draft, live from Papa John's Jerry World, next month.