NFL drops Papa John's, somehow finds worse pizza sponsorship

February 28, 2018
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Good news for those averse to cardboard meals: the NFL has dropped Papa John's as an official sponsor. The pizza chain ran afoul last season after CEO John Schnatter complained that the anthem protests were hurting his sales, which in turn drew the support of white yeah, not a great look for the league. (Between this and his beloved Louisville Cardinals' demise, there's a chance we're not going to get as many drunken Schnatter party photos in the future. Probably for the best, although our lives will be that much more drab and empty that they're gone.)

But, lest you think the NFL aspires for higher culinary partnerships, go ahead and kiss that dream goodbye.

In the place of Papa John's comes Pizza Hut, the No. 1 leader in restaurants that are later turned into other restaurants. (According to our data, usually a Mexican joint.)

In all due respect to Vince Vaughn's character in Wedding Crashers, there is such thing as a bad cheese-n-pizza pie; in fact, we're pretty sure it's Pizza Hut's credo. There's a reason that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot had the fellas chowing down the Hut instead of Domino's: the latter had transformed itself from hot garbage to "Eh, it's 2:00 a.m. and I'm drunk" over the past two decades. And, fingers crossed, maybe Pizza Hut will one day reach that lofty goal.

Although, given how bad the NFL experience has become, perhaps this is a partnership made in pigskin hell.