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South Carolina's new $50-million, arcade-equipped football megaplex is gonna blow up the SEC

January 14, 2019

Someone drag Wes Bryan out of whatever Taco Bell he's currently posted up in. He's going to want to see this. Bryan's alma mater, the South Carolina Gamecocks, have just unveiled their new $50-million football utopia and, if the players' reactions are any indication, it's about to blow up the SEC as we know it. Look upon it's majesty and weep, humble pawns:

What you see gleaming before you, in all of its glass and chrome glory, is the combined personal fortunes of at least 10 boosters who now think they're in charge of every single Gamecocks' personnel decision from now until eternity. But old white guys leaving angry voicemails every time you don't go for it on 4th and two is a small price to pay for 110,000 square feet of paradise, boasting better-than-pro-level locker rooms, a Globo Gym-dwarfing workout room, a 15-seat movie theater, a video arcade, a barber shop, and a recording studio donated by friend of the Digest, Darius Rucker. Watch out for for those fire mixtapes, America.

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This gleaming testament to athletics over academics is plucked straight from ol' Dabo's playbook, which was responsible for the $55-million behemoth that opened just down the road in 2017. Featuring a bowling lane, an indoor slide, and a mini-golf course, the Clemson Tigers' new facility has produced two national championship squads in its three years of existence, so clearly something is working.


If that model is any indication, start looking for the Gamecocks to start making some recruiting waves and contending for the SEC East in a couple of years. Now it's your move, Tennessee. We know you've got the money for it...