This rattlesnake hanging out in a golf hole is pure nightmare fuel for the putt-it-out crowd

December 08, 2022

We’ve seen snakes on planes. We’ve seen snakes in Christmas trees. We’ve even seen snakes at Augusta National, which is supposed to be a happy place, free from the slippery, slithery terrors of the world beyond. But short of flipping up a lid to find a snake in the toilet, the worst possible place we have ever seen a snake is coiled in the bottom of a cup.

For years we lived blissfully under the delusion that this was a one-off thing—an aberration of nature—but now we know we were wrong. So horribly, horribly wrong.

Nah, nope, nuh uh, no way. Not a chance in a cold, frozen-over hell are we putting that one out. If your buddies hit you with the ol’ “we’re going to need see that,” kindly tell them to **** off and then go find some new buddies. This should go without saying, but people are stupid and guys want to look tough. Maybe you’re about to break 80 for the first time. It’s not always as simple as it seems, even when it seems as simple as DON’T TOUCH THE POISONOUS SNAKE.

Anyway, that's really all there is to say. Sleep well, cupcakes, and always make sure to look before you reach.