The Chirp Gawd

Sean Avery's NSFW Instagram stories have not disappointed during the Stanley Cup Finals

June 4, 2019
Sean Avery
Brian Babineau

First, Sean Avery picked a fight with every idiot who blocked the bike lane in NYC (something he still does on his Instagram a daily basis). Then he took aim at the entire New York Islanders fan base (something he'll probably do again at some point). Next up? The city of Boston, Bruins fans, specifically.

The Bruins are currently in a heated battle with the St. Louis Blues in the Stanley Cup Finals, with the Blues squaring the series at two games apiece on Monday night in St. Louis. Avery, who spent 13 years in the NHL, the majority of them as a member of the New York Rangers, has been watching every minute (#BecauseItsTheCup), and he's made sure to capture many of his reactions and post them to his Instagram story, which has become the stuff of legend over the last few months for reasons mentioned above and for reasons you'll see below.

Full disclosure: I love Sean Avery. I love the way he played, the way he chirped, and the way he would randomly display some skill when he wasn't inside of the penalty box. Yes, I am a Ranger fan who probably would have hated his guts if he played for the New Jersey Devils, New York Islanders, Boston Bruins, Philadelphia Flyers, etc. But he didn't. He played for my team, so naturally I enjoyed his presence. That's how being a fan works. Same goes for Bruins fans who ride for Brad Marchand, who has pretty much become the most hated player in hockey. If he was on my team or your team, we'd love him too, so you can't blame Boston for defending even his scummiest moves (of which there are many).

That's why I can't help but laugh at Avery breaking down these Stanley Cup Final games, specifically at his hatred for Boston, who he had his fair share of scuffles with over the years. Most people may point to "ohh he hates Boston because they win!", but I think Avery just genuinely hates them from his playing days. It showed during Game 4. NSFW tag, of course:

(extreme Billy Mays voice ((RIP))) But wait... there's more! Here is Avery after the Blues scored what would eventually be the winning goal, telling Bruins fans he's coming to Boston for Game 5 to see how tough "you little f---ing sh--heads are," the little f--ing sh--heads being Bruins fans in his Instagram direct messages:

Say what you want about Avery, the man is a chirping god. If he could clean up the language, he should be hired as an analyst immediately. That's a big if, of course.

RELATED: Dodgers ace Walker Buehler tells batter to "sit the f—k down," is our new favorite athlete

MORE FROM THE LOOP
This year's stuff that mattered

9 'things' that tell the story of the year in golf in 2019

December 11, 2019