Corndawg
An injured Russell Wilson running imaginary two-minute drills by himself at Heinz Field has to be the corniest thing in football history
Russell Wilson is impossibly tough. Russell Wilson is improbably talented. Russell Wilson seems like a really, truly, genuinely good guy. Russell Wilson is also the cornball of all cornballs.
That’s exhibit A. This is exhibit, um, I think we’re at X by now …
What you're seeing here is Russell Wilson at Heinz Field during warm ups ahead of Sunday Night Football. Wilson is on IR for the first time in his career due to surgery on a dislocated finger. He’s wasn't playing. He didn't even need to be in Pittsburgh. Yet there he was, halfway around the country, running imaginary two-minute drills in front of national-TV cameras like a second grader with no friends playing catch with himself in the backyard. The nation's top scientists all agree this is the theoretical limit of cringe.
You go ahead and pick the saddest part of this for yourself. If you’re a Seahawks fan, it’s definitely the 23-20 overtime loss. For us, it’s the fake huddles. Or maybe the mumbled audibles. Or maybe it’s impossible to pick out one stock from the next in this labyrinthian maze of corn. But no matter how hard you laugh today, know that Wilson will be laughing last tomorrow. We pretty much guarantee it.