After Philly's greased Lightpole-palooza in 2018 and Gronk's last stand in 2019, the Chiefs Parade had a lot to live up to on Wednesday. Could the wholesome landlubbers of the middle west match the Twitter-crashing debauchery of the coastal heathens after a longgggg Super Bowl drought? When the confetti finally settled on Thursday morning, the answer was a resounding you betcha.
For starters, things got underway with an honest-to-goodness car chase. Scary stuff to be sure, but on the crazy spectrum, it doesn't get much more batshit than that.
Then a bare-assed man plummeted out of a tree and into Chiefs legend. Here's hoping your new neck brace fits snug!
Meanwhile, Patrick Mahomes worked tirelessly to cement himself as Rob Gronkowski's Super Bowl parade heir apparent with moves like this (in heavily tinted ski goggles, no less):
But even after all of that, the signature moment of the Chiefs parade was still yet to come, when Patrick Mahomes sent his umpteenth deep ball of the afternoon sailing over the Kansas City skyline and into the arms of a lucky fan who, wait, nope, nevermind. He just ran straight into a parking meter.
If you think that stings, just imagine running into Steve Atwater coming across the middle. Pretty hard to laugh about that the following morning when you're breathing through a tube.