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November 03, 2020

Forget golf's hoodie debate, the NFL just fined JuJu Smith-Schuster and James Conner $5,000 for wearing their socks too low

Recently in our neck of the sports woods, there’s been intense debate about whether or not it’s appropriate to wear a hoodie on the golf course. It all began when Tyrell Hatton won the BMW PGA clad in one. Golf’s crotchety old gatekeepers went into immediate lockdown mode, prompting Rory to fire back with his own hooded sweatshirt thing at the Zozo Championship, followed soon after by Harold Varner III, who did his best to remind everyone that hoodies aren’t really the biggest fish golf has to fry right now.

But if you thought that was the most pointless dress code debate happening in sports right now, think again. On Tuesday, the NFL joined the fun, fining JuJu Smith-Schuster and James Conner $5,000 a piece for wearing their socks too low during last Sunday’s game against the Titans. Yes, socks. Yes, really.

You’ve got coaches shouting into referees' faces for three hours while wearing Kleenex masks like necklaces, and the Goodell gulag is more concerned about sock height. They even refer to socks as “stockings,” because apparently it’s 1931. Oh, and if you’re wondering about the agregious violation in question, here’s what it looked like.

By our estimation, that’s about $1,000 per inch of exposed skin. And this is football we’re talking about—a sport where guys intentionally wear short sleeves at Lambeau in January. If that makes zero sense to you, join the club. From the sound of things, JuJu will be at the next meeting.

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Frederick Breedon