Genesis Invitational

Riviera Country Club

The Loop

Michael Jordan’s new golf course delivers refreshments via drone, rendering the cart girl obsolete

December 07, 2020

The cart girl has been a fixture at country clubs across America for much of the preceding century. From the dawn of golfers’ realization they could sit on their duffs and press a pedal instead of lugging a bag of metal sticks over hill and dale, the cart girl has ridden alongside them, offering an oasis of hydration and salty snacks to weary hacks the world over. Now, however, the cart girl’s long, prosperous reign has finally reached its twilight and it’s all because of one man:

No that’s not a real life ‘Fortnite’ drop, it’s the scene at Michael Jordan’s new golf course The Grove XXIII when you order a hot dog and a Bud heavy. Gone are the cash transactions and light conversation (not that cart girls will miss those), replaced instead by cold, unthinking efficiency. It’s concessions chess not concessions checkers, and we know all when it comes to golf, MJ is a veritable Beth Harmon (‘The Queen’s Gambit’ reference alert.)

You’ll also notice, as this man’s precious cheeseburger touches down from the upper atmosphere, a lone warrior blazing by in the background on a scooter. That’s a Grove XXIII caddie, all of whom are outfitted with a literal mini-bike in order to keep up with the 35-mph golf carts and other modern amenities at Jetson’s CC. Needless to say, the future of golf has officially arrived . . . even if the cart girl union may not like it.