Country Club Justice

This fantasy football league’s last-place finisher has to caddie for the winner in a Masters caddie jumpsuit

September 05, 2023

It’s fantasy football season, America. All across this great, pigskin-loving nation sickos and casuals alike are crunching mock drafts, tweaking lineups and bracing for six straight months of non-stop trash talk. To the victors, go the spoils (usually bragging rights and cash), but the losers—the last-place pariahs who haven’t sniffed single-digit loss since Week 8—are doomed to a very different fate.

Just ask this poor sap. For finishing last in his fantasy football league last year, he was sentenced to caddying a full 18 holes for the league winner. To make matters even more humiliating, he had to do the whole thing in a white, Masters-inspired jumpsuit. Check it out.

Honestly, we’ve seen far crueler and more unusual punishments over the years (one man was recently spotted holing out from the fairway while wearing a dress as part of his sentence) but lugging your friend’s bag and washing their balls on a perfect sunny Saturday is a unique brand of torture. Sure, you can dish out a couple of under-clubs and bad reads along the way to keep your dignity intact, but no matter which way you cut it, it’s not a fun day at the track.

Oh, and if you think you’re getting tipped for your troubles, fuggedaboutit.