Genesis Invitational

Riviera Country Club

You Hate to See It

The best-worst golf-themed punishments for losing your fantasy football league

September 07, 2023

Bryan Woolston

You decided to play fantasy football this year. You were bored. You got peer pressured. You thought you could wipe the floor with your idiot friends. But now your starting running back is toast (literally), your wide receivers are cardboard cutouts, and you're dead last in the waiver order every week. You're plummeting down the power rankings and facing the very real possibility of finishing DFL. What sadistic fate awaits should your stable of preseason dark horses turn to glue? Well, if you're in a golf-obsessed league like ours, it might be one of these ...


+ Must complete a round without swearing (extra hole added to next round for each curse).


+ Can order only rosé from the cart girl for six months.


+ Must rock personalized iron covers for a year.


+ Must hit one driver off the deck per hole for an entire round.


+ Must serve as league champ's walking caddie for 72 holes of their choosing.


+ Must consume John Daly's 2008 Wyndham Championship diet — 21 cigarettes, 12 Diet Cokes, six packets of Peanut M&Ms, no water — during single round.


+ Must curtsy to other groups when playing through until next season's draft.


+ Must watch The Legend of Bagger Vance once a week for a year.


+ Must get naked Greg Norman tattooed somewhere on your body.