Torts Time
July 16, 2020

John Tortorella doesn’t “give a sh*t” if NHL player mics pick up profanity

John Tortorella doesn’t give a sh*t. He doesn’t give a sh*t about selfies. He doesn’t give a sh*t about the league office. He doesn’t give a sh*t about gratifying his team’s fragile egos or sugarcoating gastrointestinal issues, and he certainly doesn’t give a sh*t about profanity. So when asked if he was concerned about mic’d-up players using naughty words when the NHL returns in August, well, you can probably guess what he had to say.

Honestly not sure where this journalist thought he was or who he was talking to. This ain’t Disney World, chief, and Torts sure as hell ain’t Mickey Mouse. If bad words offend you, maybe hockey isn’t for you. (We hear this golf thing is pretty cool though.)

You also have to wonder if there aren’t more pressing issues at hand than the NHL’s plan to mic up players when pucks drop August 1. Sports occupy a fascinating place in the broader American discourse right now. Surely an employee paid to ask questions can come up with something better than “but what about the cursing, Torts?”

If the goal was to elicit an entertaining answer, however, then we have to thank this brave hero for his sacrifice. Without him, the world would be suffering through yet another week of no Torts, and Lord Stanley knows we’ve had too many of those lately.

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