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John Tortorella absolutely rips his own team apart, remains the press conference GOAT

As previously discussed right here on this site, there are few people on earth who can dominate a press conference like John Tortorella. Whether he's battling with cell phones, feuding with reporters or in the mood to tear his own players to shreds, the man is must-watch when there is a microphone in his face, which is ironic because of how much he hates when there is a microphone in his face.

Torts' Columbus Blue Jackets were back in action on Tuesday following the All-Star break and their bye week, a 10-day hiatus that would lead you to believe they'd be refreshed and ready to get after it at home against Buffalo. Instead, the Jackets found themselves down 3-1 after the first period, though they did fight back to tie the game at 4-4 heading into the final period. They would eventually go on to lose 5-4, and the stats seemed to indicate it was a hard-fought game.

Judging by Tortorella's press conference on Thursday ahead of Columbus' tilt with the Winnipeg Jets , this was far from the case. If you go off this, you would think some of the Blue Jackets were smoking weed and passing around brown-bagged beers on the bench as they got their asses kicked 23-0. Please enjoy all four minutes of this work of art that includes quotes like "playing with no balls," "the team needs to be reset," and "we were absolute no-shows":

What did I tell you about him hating the mic? He damn near choked that TSN one to death at the beginning of the video. Imagine the Blue Jackets had gotten shutout this game? Or worse, imagine they "no-show" again on Thursday? I'd pay top dollar to be a fly on the wall in that locker room if so. We could have another "PACK IT UP" situation on our hands (NSFW: language):