Torts Gonna Torts
March 05, 2020

Woman tries to get Torts to take selfie mid-game, Torts reacts exactly how you'd expect

John Tortorella has absolutely no time for bullshit. He has no time for poor officiating, no time for g*d damn technology, no time for your stupid questions and NO time for cell phones. If you think he has time for a selfie at any time of the day, let alone in the middle of a hockey game, you must be outside your mind.

One woman at the Calgary Flames-Columbus Blue Jackets game made the grave mistake of thinking Torts would have time for a selfie in the middle of the game, and she got exactly what you'd expect, an icy cold Torts shoulder. Watch as she somehow miraculously gets his attention only to be swatted away by Torts as if he were Dikembe Mutombo in his prime:

Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. This woman is lucky Torts didn't have her removed, and he was actually able to laugh it off. M'am, we all love Torts as much as you do, but some of us don't have a death wish. You'd have a better chance of getting a selfie with Bill Belichick than one with Torts in the middle of a game.

Also, in case you were wondering, yes, that other fan is showing Torts a pic of .... young Torts:

Screen Shot 2020-03-05 at 12.41.09 PM.png

You think Torts is scary now? That version of Torts would kick the shit out of you, steal your girlfriend and you'd have nothing to say about it. What a savage.