John Deere Classic

TPC Deere Run


The Loop

Brotherly Love

Philadelphia City Council names Joel Embiid MVP (Most Valuable Philadelphian) in world’s worst consolation prize

May 19, 2022
1240635080

Anadolu Agency

For the second year running, Denver Nuggets center Nikola Jokic is the NBA MVP. He celebrated the award at a horse farm in Serbia. It was a whole, charming thing. Many basketball fans, however, believe the NBA’s actual Most Valuable Player was Joel Embiid … including Joel Embiid himself.

Despite that, Embiid got snubbed (again) and the Sixers season went the way of their big man’s MVP candidacy soon after. Everyone was bummed. No one went home happy. So Philadelphia City Council decided to do something about it. On Thursday morning they emerged from hours of deliberation to name Joel Embiid the one true MVP … Most Valuable Philadelphian, that is.

If that isn’t the least consoling consolation prize you’ve ever seen, then we honestly don’t know what is. That’s like getting dumped and your mom telling you you're special and handsome and will find someone new. She’s probably right (at least about finding someone new), but it somehow only makes things worse.

Plus we’re guessing Most Valuable Philadelphian isn’t the most hotly contested category. After Will Smith bowed out of the running at the Oscars, it was pretty much down to Embiid, the traffic light Crisco-er, and this guy. That’s a far cry from being named basketball’s most indispensable talent, but beggars can’t be choosers, it’s just nice to be recognized, and if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with. Isn't that right, mom?