This tale about Joel Embiid smoking his assistant coach’s kids 98-6 in ‘Madden’ is a top-five Joel Embiid story
Listen, that’s saying a lot. Joel Embiid is one of craziest, funniest, weirdest dudes to ever set foot in the NBA. He kicked off his career by trying to publicly get with Rihanna until it became borderline sad, and has left a trail of laughter and oddity in his wake ever since. But of all the Tall Embiid Tales told over the years, this new revelation by Philadelphia 76ers coach Billy Lange and his wife Alicia, detailed in this profile by The Athletic published on Monday, might be the most hilarious.
“Billy Lange, 76ers assistant coach: My wife, Alicia, and I have four sons. He takes a car service, he comes over and Alicia cooks for him. He has this backpack with him. He says to my boys, “You guys want to play video games?” Of course, they’re going to say yes. And he takes out his PlayStation.
Alicia Lange: He put it literally on the main TV in my house. He wanted everyone to watch how bad he beat them.
Billy Lange: When I say he pummeled my kids, there was no mercy. I think he won a Madden game, 98-6.
Alicia Lange: At the time, my kids were 7, 9 and 10.
Marc Lange, Billy’s and Alicia’s son: Every time he’d get a turnover he’d say something to me, right to my face. One time he left to go to the bathroom and I got a safety with his controller and he was mad.”
But Embiid wasn’t done there. No, no. After confirming his ‘Madden’ dominance over the Lange urchins, Embiid then pulled out NBA 2K and proceeded to drive the point home.
“Billy Lange: Then he goes to play (NBA) 2K, which has all these angles and my kids have always played on the angle like you’re watching the game on television. But Joel plays from the baseline angle. He was beating them by like 200 points. He was unrelenting and he was talking smack. “Can’t guard me. You can’t get a stop.” All of it. Just giggling. Unbelievable. While my wife is cooking for him.
Alicia Lange: He killed them and laughed the entire time. He wiped every kid off the game.”
If you’ve even wondered what Joel Embiid would be like at a dinner party, now you know. He’ll bring a PlayStation in his backpack and proceed to wreck your kids over and over again until they never want to look at a video game again. We guess that makes him an "acquired taste," but if you’re looking for a few laughs, he should be the first name on the guest list.