124th U.S. Open

Pinehurst No. 2

The Loop

Jay Gruden's plan for the Redskins quarterback position is . . . just kidding, he doesn't have one

October 02, 2019
Washington Redskins v New York Giants


If Jon Gruden is heavy metal, Jay Gruden is free jazz. Jon likes blitzing his own quarterbacks, defending head hunters, and using F-bombs like punctuation. Jay meanwhile, is just going with the flow. He's vamping over improvised rhythms. He's dancing to the beat of his own bongos. He just is, man. So when asked on Wednesday about his plan for the Redskins quarterback position following the benching of Case Keenum and the subsequent interception-palooza headlined by DJ Dwanye Haskins, the less grind-y Gruden answered accordingly:

Far out, brochise.

This is positively liberating honesty from an NFL head coach. This is the rolling around naked in the Woodstock mud of press conference admissions. Here is a man roasting alive by the heat of his hickory-smoked seat, and when asked about the future of the most important position on his team, his only response is to say, "Who among us humble earthlings can predict the future?" You're not going to get this sort of gold of out of Bill "If you ask me what I had for lunch, your family dies" Belichick, that's for sure.

Whether or not Dan Snyder is smoking Gruden's hookah remains to be seen, however. Keenum tossed the second most picks in the NFL last season and tacked on another four this year before being replaced by Haskins, who promptly threw a touchdown to Jabrill Peppers, unfortunately playing for the Giants at the time. So while we applaud Gruden's free spirit, and would be happy to discuss chakras with him over mushroom tea the next time Dead & Company roll through town, his unencumbered soul will soon be an unemployed one if he keeps this shit up.