Rumble in the Jungle

Unhinged golf course fight features one of the craziest KOs you will ever see

September 14, 2023

Golf course fights. Everybody’s doing them. Blame it on El Nino, chalk it up to the election year, but everywhere you look, idiots across this very angry country are chunking chips and chucking knucks down at the local muny.

Just take these two dumbasses. This week, they were seen throwing down at Pasfield Golf Course in Springfield, Illinois. Pasfield is an unassuming nine-hole track, the perfect place to decompress after a lousy day at the office, but these two Neanderthals either missed the memo or didn’t know how to read it, squaring up in one of the wildest brawls we’ve seen all year. Check it out (and brace for the kill shot around the 20-second mark).

We pick up the action midway through the second round. One player allegedly hit just short of the green the other was putting on, sparking Frazier vs. Ali II. Both players’ equipment is spread across the ground as they grapple. Eventually they both stagger to their feet. Blue trunks begins picking up his belongings. Unsatisfied with the split decision, however, khaki trunks goes in for the knockout. First mistake, possibly last ever mistake.

Like we already said, we’ve seen plenty of these dust-ups already this season. Some that ended without a single punch landed and some that got truly out hand. We’ve yet to see one like this, though. They heard this haymaker on the moon. Somewhere Rudy Tomjanovich just woke up in cold sweat. Look at the way this guy's right leg buckles at impact. That’s the international symbol for "night night," folks.

So consider this a not-so-friendly reminder to keep your hands to yourself unless you're fully prepared to use them. This is a nasty concussion, a root canal or two and at least 48 billable hours to a local attorney (not to mention a massive shot to the ol’ pride kisser). So live and let live, forget and forgive, and, most of all, shut up if you don’t want to put up.