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Coronavirus tried to cancel the greatest baseball uniform of all time, but true art triumphed once more
As you’ve probably already heard, last week the minor league baseball season was cancelled outright, plunging Lansing, Wichita, and Jacksonville into darkness. With no fans in MLB ballparks and no MiLB baseball of any kind, the decision was a death knell for one of baseball’s proudest traditions: The promotion night. For months, team offices had been hard at work cooking up themed extravaganzas that would make Broadway blush. ‘Seinfeld’ nights. Florida Man nights. Even Legalize Marinara night, the Pensacola Blue Wahoos’ pasta-themed celebration originally scheduled to be held on 4/20. But now, thanks to COVID-19, the bobbleheads bobble no more.
This is America, however, and we fight and rage against the dying of the light even when the medical professionals tell us light is poisonous and will kill us if we go out in it. Thus the Pulaski Yankees—the Appalachian League’s Advanced Rookie League affiliate of the New York Yankees—have pushed forward undeterred. Instead of putting their incredible 2020 Agriculture Night jerseys on mothballs until next year, on Tuesday morning they released them into the wild to roam free amongst the amber waves of grain and purple mountain majesties. Behold, humble pilgrims.
This makes ‘Starry Night’ look like a finger painting and 'Field of Dreams' like a nightmare, and it can be yours for a cool $75 in sizes 44 through 50. Sure, the New Yahk Yankees have their legendary pinstripes, but why go with Jeter’s no. 2 when you can wear Porky the Pig’s face instead? Th-th-that's a rhetorical question, folks.
There’s no telling when we’ll see minor league baseball again in this country. Hopefully next spring per usual, but the entire system was hanging by a thread BEFORE losing a full season of revenue to coronavirus. If this is truly the end, however, at least we know what we’re wearing to the funeral.