Slurping the Mary Jane
March 05, 2020

Pensacola Blue Wahoos win 2020 minor-league promotion derby with Legalize "Marinara" night on 4/20

Spaghetti with Tomato Sauce

Lew Robertson

The seedy underworld of minor-league baseball promotions is a cut-throat place. It's hot dog eat hot dog. It's every damn bobblehead for itself April through September. Every season, teams from Biloxi to Spokane renew their promotional holy, vying for the hearts, minds, and clicks of the baseball masses with cut-price beers, giant foam fingers, and enough novelty t-shirts to adorn the entire third world in the insignia of the Lansing Lugnuts. This year, however, a ceasefire may be in the offing, because while it's only March, the 2020 sweepstakes is already O.V.A. over.

A ballpark spaghetti night is a good-bad enough idea on its own. Combine it with 4/20 and you have sweet, tomatoey chaos. Sure, we just finished fawning over the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp's iconic new George Costanza bobblehead, but the Pensacola Blue Wahoos' Legalize Marinara night definitely takes the cake (or should we say carbonara?)

Details are still scant. Is it BYOPasta? Will there be sauce on draft? When will the mozzarella stick dunking contest be held? Our questions simmer on into the night. But even if none of these probably terrible ideas ever come to a boil, the "Legalize It" t-shirt is worth the price admission alone. So grab some parmesan or perhaps even a little moozarella and slurp up your tickets before the DEA shuts this thing down for good.

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