Fire up the Skynyrd, throw the kids in the back of the pickup, and crack a couple of road sodas, because the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp have just announced Florida Man Night, and if you're a fan of baseball, people watching, and public intoxication tickets, you simply cannot miss this plumbers crack jamboree.
While details remain scant, the Marlins' double-A affiliate have unveiled a few key elements of the already legendary evening, set to go down on July 26th at the beautiful Baseball Grounds of Jacksonville. The driving theme of the evening, unsurprisingly, will be petty crime, with Jumbo Shrimp brass attempting to break a different bizarre Florida law every inning. To ensure that all misdemeanors are conducted properly, the Jumbo Shrimp will even have a lawyer from the Law Offices of John Phillips—the official sponsors of the event—on hand to officiate. Apparently Saul Goodman was already booked.
The crown jewel of the evening, however, will an appearance by Duval local and iconic Florida Man himself, Lane Pittman, who went viral back in 2016 for blasting Slayer and waltzing into the eye of Hurricane Matthew brandishing a giant American flag. No bobbleheads have been officially announced, but seriously, how could you not?
If you're not looking to beef up your criminal record and watch a bunch a guys Dale Sr. tank tops fighting over each other's wives, don't stress. The Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp have plenty of other promotional goodies scattered throughout out the calendar, from Halfway to Pumpkin Spice Night on April 27—featuring pumpkin spice shrimp (and plenty of food poisoning) at every concession stand—and Ramen Noodle Night, including a giveaway of this pillow, which we will literally pay someone to acquire for us. Slide into the DMs, folks. Let's make a deal.