Hall of Names

A new contender for best football name ever has emerged

August 27, 2019

Last year, we introduced you to Steele Fortress—Michigan Tech quarterback and current holder of the coveted "best football name" title belt, beating out the likes of Donte Hitner, Mercury Morris, and the artist formerly known as Gronk. The civil engineering major named Steele enjoyed a good a run, but now, nearly 12 months to the day after we first discovered his incredible moniker, a new contender has stepped into the ring.

Ladies and gentleman, meet De'Coldest Crawford.

Hailing from Green Oaks High School in Shreveport, Louisiana, De'Coldest—despite having a name fit for a head-hunting free safety—is a budding wide receiver, furthering a proud tradition of ridiculously fun WR names like Plaxico Burress, Wayne Chrebet, and Keyshawn Johnson. Not much is known about De'coldest as a prospect, but based on the strength of that name alone, we expect Coach O to be banging down his door any second now.

RELATED: The Loop's officially unlicensed XFL jersey name generator

As is always the case with stories like this, we we would like to thank De'Coldest's parents for their creativity, bravery, and foresight before wrapping up proceedings with our semi-annual viewing of Key & Peele's East/West Bowl. De'Coldest may be top of the pile in 2019, but he still has a long way to go to challenge Penn State's Hingle McCringleberry for the right to be called the greatest ever.

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