America's Next Top He Hate Me

The Loop's officially unlicensed XFL jersey name generator

January 25, 2018

On Thursday afternoon, as the Doomsday Clock coincidentally clicked to within two minutes of armageddon for the first time since 1953, Vince McMahon announced plans to revive the XFL's bloated rotting corpse, a business decision almost unthinkable just one presidential administration ago. Love it or loathe it, however, it's coming all the same, so we decided to ride the wave—which ex-XFL fans are probably still doing—and have a little fun. In that spirit, welcome to The Loop's Officially Unlicensed XFL Jersey Name Generator. You'll never match the genius of He Hate Me, but there's no harm in giving it the ol' community college try.

ONE WORD

Your favorite wrestler + your death row meal (no space)

EX: Rocklobster, Machomanmeatloaf

TWO WORDS

The first word of your favorite Quentin Tarantino movie + how Tom Brady makes you feel

EX: Django Horny, Hateful Hateful

THREE WORDS

Hair metal band + body part you wouldn't tattoo + medieval weapon

EX: Poison Pelvis Hammer, Ratt Face Maul

Come up with one you like? Make sure share it with us (and also tell Vince McMahon, because who knows, maybe he'll even give you a roster spot.)

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