Zlatan Gonna Zlatan
40-year-old Zlatan Ibrahimovic ripping inverted crunches is proof that aliens walk among us
Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Even if you don’t know offsides from a handball, you know Zlatan. The legendary striker (and self-believer) is a God amongst men, and throughout his 23-year playing career for the likes of Juventus, Inter Milan, Barcelona, PSG, Manchester United, and the, um, LA Galaxy, he’s backed that up time and time again. The Big Swede’s best days are behind him. The goals aren’t flowing like they used to. He spends more time on the physio’s table than the pitch. But rest assured Zlatan is still finding new and creative ways to remind us that he is superior, including this casual workout video posted to his Twitter on Monday morning.
Even the Navy Seals in the audience are probably cringing watching this. You can see every single sinew in Zlatan’s inverted body straining as it’s diverted to the express purpose of making us feel worse about ourselves. You might think it’s about more than that, but it’s not. There is literally nothing in soccer that requires this sort of core strength. This is about Zlatan vs. the world, and Zlatan is taking all three points.
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Shockingly enough, however, this display of completely-uncalled-for fitness is not even the best transmission from planet Zlatan this month. That honor instead belongs to this doozy …
Or perhaps this one …
Honestly, we can’t keep up.