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These two commentators dancing (humping?) to 'Jump Around' won the college football weekend

September 06, 2022

When it came to selecting a college football MVP for Week 0, it was slim pickings. As for Week 1, well, the task was borderline impossible.

However, despite the waterfall of CFB content, we were able to narrow it down to a handful of candidates before ultimately landing on Tim Brando, who won the college football weekend by a nose hair with his dancing to Wisconsin's "Jump Around." And by dancing, we mean humping. The guy was legitimately humping his broadcast partner Spencer Tillman:

That caption says it perfectly. Man, what is it about college football that causes people to feel so frisky? Remember our couple from the Big 12 Championship game last season:

Nothing stirs the loins quite like CFB, especially in Madison, Wis., where the Badgers fans' most-famous tradition is alive and well and causing play-by-play guys to take it a step too far in the booth. You love to see it. We are so back, baby.

Before we get to helmet stickers, one last shoutout to the Wisco fans. This remains one of the four or five preeminent traditions in the sport, the type you drop everything you are doing to watch before you keep scrolling on Twitter or Instagram. Our attention spans are extremely limited nowadays, but when you see "Jump Around hits different at night" on social media, you put your phone on landscape mode and drink it in. This is Week 1 in a damn blowout against Illinois State, mind you:

Incredible scenes. There's been a lot of negativity surrounding CFB as of late. NIL deals, conference realignment, playoff expansion, etc. Some believe that stuff might ruin the sport, but as long as traditions like "Hump Around" "Jump Around" are happening on Saturdays, I think we'll be fine.

Helmet Stickers

(In this section, we dole out helmet stickers to highlight those who *almost* won the college football weekend)

Five helmet stickers: The one ... the only ... John Daly

Ain't nothing wrong with a little day drinking. Woo pig. 

Four helmet stickers: These Dawgs fans

I think, for the most part, the college football world at large was happy to see Kirby Smart and the Georgia Bulldogs finally get over the Alabama hump last season and win the national title, the school's first since 1980. The problem now is that the Dawgs fans are going to be insufferable for years to come. Personally, I find these three frat stars getting on all fours and barking like dogs hilarious, but I can see how others may not. To each their own. 

Three helmet stickers: The Florida fan(s) who made this sign

Speaking of SEC frat stars, the ones who came up with this sign idea down in Gainesville before the Gators upset Utah 29-26 earned some serious love from us:

Absolutely brilliant. Who knew someone from Florida could come up with such a witty joke. Well done. 

Two helmet stickers: Michigan punter Brad Robbins

It doesn't take much to go viral these days. Simply being a punter with funny facial hair often does the trick. Case in point, Michigan punter Brad Robbins, who exploded on social media over the weekend just because ESPN cameras captured him with his helmet off. Easy work. Also, check out his evolution in Ann Arbor:

Never graduate. 

Negative 10 helmet stickers: The Iowa football program

By now, you're well aware that Iowa won a football game 7-3 on Saturday without scoring a touchdown. One field goal and two safeties. It's the most Iowa football thing to ever occur. 

A closer look at the game, though, reveals that they actually out-Iowa'd themselves this time. Punts from the opponent's 37-yard line, 1.1 QB ratings, multiple drives of negative yards. Oh, and it all came against South Dakota State, a team Iowa was favored over by double digits, which would require more than zero touchdowns to be scored in the game. 

They don't make football programs like Iowa's any more*.

*Thank f---ing God.