Whatever you do, DON'T look at Shaq's quarantine feet
It's been a banner week for gross-out stuff in the sports. First, we brought you images of Alex Smith's leg following his grisly compound/spiral fracture and subsequent infection. We thought there was no better diet on the internet than looking at that before hopping on Grubhub for the fifth time in five days, but we were wrong. We were very, very wrong. Poor, beleaguered souls, look upon Shaq's feet and weep.
We want to take this moment to apologize to all of you, but this was a burden we simply couldn't bear alone. Is this real or some elaborate hoax born out of boredom? Do these feet belong to an actual human? Did Sasquatch just throw up in his mouth a little bit? We have many questions but very few answers. We have stared into the void stared back. We are utterly, entirely alone.
This isn't the first time Shaq's feet have tormented the internet, however. He's shared his size-22 clompers on numerous occasions over the years to almost unanimous revulsion. Suffice to say, however, this latest overshare takes the cake. Hell, we don't even want cake right now. That's how bad they are.
All that being said, we should take a long, hard look in the mirror and count our lucky stars: At least we aren't Shaq's footbath.