Whatever you do, don't laugh at Pat Connaughton in the Dunk Contest
Andrew D. Bernstein
The NBA was hoping we wouldn't notice. On Monday morning with the sports internet still chowing down on Andy Reid quotes like Andy Reid chows down on Baconators, the Association tried to slip an absolute gem of an announcement under the rug: Milwaukee Bucks shooting guard Pat Connaughton has officially committed to the 2019 NBA Dunk Contest. In case you're wondering why they were trying to hide it, Connaughton is the same athletic specimen who once did this:
But the NBA, bless their hearts, completely underestimated the internet's magnet-like attraction to absurdity, and soon the horde was all over the news like flies on a fly zapper. As you've probably already surmised, the reaction ranged from bemusement to utter outrage at the fact the Dunk Contest will continue to be very much the Dunk Contest.
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But hold the Hatorade, basketball casuals of the internet, because as it turns out, Connaughton doesn't just have hops for his, um, context, he has hops PERIOD. Yes, we also just learned this.
And if you don't believe the numbers, believe the tape . . .
In the immortal words of The Offspring, pretty fly (for a white guy). Will Connaughton be enough to elevate the Dunk Contest above the semi-interested hate watch that it's become? Probably not, especially considering the mileage-heavy lineup of Dwight Howard, Aaron Gordon, and Derrick Jones Jr. But if you don't want to end up on a subtweet poster like the rest of these fools, put that "Pat can't dunk" take back in the drafts . . . well, until February 15th, at least.