Tic Tac No

We have ourselves another Tic Tac Toe fail at an NBA game

December 13, 2018

Tic Tac Toe, like long division and using your turn signal, is a dying in art in this great nation. Now we have Fortnite and Candy Crush, third-string Chiefs running backs to grab on the waiver wire and pizza orders to scream at Alexa. There's no time in this hectic modern life for Xs and Os, a fact made painfully clear at halftime of Wednesday night's Pacers game, when two humble rocket scientists played perhaps the single most inept game in Tic Tac Toe human history. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: You IQ will drop 50 points just watching this.

Truly, utterly miraculous. Each player snatches defeat from the jaws of victory at least twice over the course this minute-long plunge to the depths of human intellect, demonstrating zero understanding of the game Tic Tac Toe and, for that matter, basic arithmetic. You know that "hold my beer" meme? Yeah, this is that made sentient:

Adding to the mind-numbing absurdity of this whole thing, is that IT'S NOT EVEN THE FIRST TIME IT'S HAPPENED. In February, two Trailblazers fans also mentally imploded in the middle of a giant Tic Tac Toe game, leaving an entire arena wondering what on this great, green earth they had just witnessed. Less than a year later, here we are, doing it all again.

If you think these idiots we're embarrassed, however, just imagine what it must have felt like to be their wives, watching at home through laced fingers thinking "THAT LOOKS LIKE...OH GOD, IT'S JIM." But rest easy, better halves of America. At least you know that you'll never lose a game of Connect Four again.

MORE FROM THE LOOP
Monday Superlatives

Wimbledon 2019 was the sunset of legends

July 15, 2019