Can't Keep An Old Dog Down
April 29, 2020

Want to feel old? Manny Ramirez is planning a baseball comeback . . . at 47

New York Yankees vs Boston Red Sox - June 1, 2007

Jim Rogash

Want to feel old? Like really, REALLY old. Well, today, the 17th birthday of 'NBA Street Vol. 2' as Twitter helpfully points out, Boston Red Sox legend Manny Ramirez officially announced his intentions to make a baseball comeback (in Taiwan!) So what? Normal enough, right? Well, until you realize the man they called Manny is 47 NON-DOG YEARS OLD NOW.

It's official folks: Manny Ramirez, the effervescent, dinger donging fun king, is ancient and, by proxy, so are you.

In an interview with the Taiwan Times on Wednesday, Ramirez said he is "itching to get back in the batter's box" and that despite offers from the Atlantic League, would rather schlepp it halfway around the world to play in the CPBL, where he did a 49-game stint in 2013. "The baseball fans of Taiwan are incredibly respectful and loyal," Ramirez said of his desire to take his talents to Taiwan. "Also, the food and their tea were delicious, I remember trying to figure out how to bring it back, days before my departure."

As a reminder, when Ramirez wasn't 47, this is the kind of thing he would do to opposing CPBL pitchers on the regular, batting .352 with eight home runs and 43 RBIs during his time in the league.

And for reference here's Manny Ramirez playing high school ball IN 1990. Are we effectively driving home the point that Manny is really old to be playing professional baseball?

But hey, more power to the man, who says he's been spending his quarantine at home in South Florida waking up at 6am to "study the Bible" before watching 9 innings of Taiwanese baseball before lunch. Different strokes for different folks, but we can tell you this: No matter what your quarantine routine is, we're willing to bet you'd do anything to get out of the house, even if it meant hopping a steam ship to the South Pacific to DH on arthritic knees.