Want to hear something scary? We are currently in the grips of a global pandemic that some scientists believe came from an unknown bacteria found on a freaking meteor. Want to hear something scarier? People who actually have the right to vote in this country spent their Thursday night cancelling Garth Brooks after an image of him playing Ford Field (home of the Detroit Lions, it should be said) in a #20 "Bernie" Sanders jersey surfaced online. Ladies and gentleman, you see what's wrong with this equation, right?
Here is the jersey . . .
. . . and here are the responses.
Only in a post MAGA-hat world would people expect presidential candidates to have their own football jerseys. Little did they know, however, the jersey belonged to some Joe Blow named Barry Sanders, 4th all-time leading rusher in NFL history, Hall of Famer, and owner of perhaps the single greatest highlight reel on YouTube. A lot will be made of patriotism and what it means to be an American between now and November, but if you don't know who this guy is, perhaps you're the one who should be deported.
So join us as we pour some out for 64% of Garth Brooks' album sales, Barry Sanders' GOAT-worthy legacy and, of course, American democracy, which died once more in darkness on Thursday night. If this is the future
liberals republicans want, then maybe we'll move to Canada after all. They have football up there, right?