Father Time comes for us all. One day, you're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, staying out all night and hitting the gym first thing in the morning. The next you're lying in the fetal position on the couch yelling at the kids to turn down Fortnite because you had two Margaritas last night. The clock doesn't discriminate or hesitate or care about your pliability, and yesterday Seahawks kicker and legendary party boi Sebastian Janikowski learned that the hard way when he discovered, live on national TV, that he was the only thing standing between 23-year-old rookie Richie James Jr. and the end zone.
Detective Murtaugh, would you care to do the honors?
In his hey day, Seabass would have blown this kid up and ripped a shot of Fireball over his corpse. Now he's making business decisions, and by business decisions we mean walking straight to the bench in the middle of a play. My how things change.
Adding insult to the injury is the announcer shouting "HE HAS JANIKOWSKI TO BEAT!" as Janikowski trots toward the showers. But we don't blame him. If you get injured as a kicker in the NFL, you get released. If you're a 40-year-old kicker who gets released, you retire. We don't want to say there's no shame in it. There's shame. Lots and lots of shame. But there's also street smarts and savvy—stuff you learn when you've been around the block as many times as Janikowski has.
Plus let's be honest, if there's one fail The Polish Cannon will be remembered for until time immemorial, it's his iconic (and peak-Raiders) 76-yard field goal try. Unlike Janikowski, it just never gets old, does it?