Come April, there won't be a single plate, pot, pan, old TV, cheap guitar, commemorative beer stein set, or used PlayStation 3 remaining within Philadelphia city limits. Why? Because on Wednesday night the Flyers officially open their very own rage room deep within the bowels of the Wells Fargo Center. Needless to say, this is the most Philly thing we've seen since PPD Crisco'd light poles ahead of the 2018 NFC Championship game.
Officially titled "The Disassembly Room"—a clever riff on the Assembly Room found inside Historic Philadelphia's Independence Hall—the Flyers' rage HQ will feature a variety of household junk to smash, including some bearing the logo of opposing teams (no word yet on whether any of it will feature Flyers insignias for those nights when they lose to the Penguins.) The Disassembly Room opens to walk-ins on October 9th for the Flyers home matchup against the Devils, but all future rage appointments can be scheduled in advance here.
The Flyers are supposed to be pretty, pretty, pretty OK this year. They've been on a on-year, off-year playoff cycle for awhile now, and 2019-20 is supposed to be an on-year. But if we know anything about Philly sports fans—and the Flyers' propensity for a good ol' fashioned choke—we would guess The Disassembly Room is gonna be one of the hottest tickets in town, so grab your bats and Bryce Harper Fat Heads and get in line.
[VERY NSFW MUSICAL OUTRO]