The Loop

Extreme Makeover: Curling Edition

Team USA curling hero Matt Hamilton has tattoos and a man-bun now. America by a million

April 05, 2021

It’s hard to believe, but by this time next year, the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing will have come and gone. It seems like just yesterday we were falling in love with Russian curlers and hanging on each and every biathlon trigger pull, and now the time to learn the difference between Super G and downhill is upon us once again. As the internet begins to reacclimate to the weird world of winter sports, however, one man stands alone:

Matt Hamilton.

On Monday morning, Team USA’s 2018 cult curling hero found himself in the public zeitgeist once more, but not for his performance rolling the rock sliding the stone, but instead for his new bad-boy look, which can best be described as Burt Reynolds meets AJ Hawk. Behold, fellow patriots.

If you remember correctly, while leading Team USA to its first ever curling gold medal back in Pyeongchang, Hamilton became a meme for his uncanny resemblance to a certain Nintendo plumber . . .

Then, while on his celebration tour that spring, he showed up to a Korn Ferry tour event dressed like this . . .

Needless to say, this is one of the most radical “I’ll have her home by 11” to “She calls me daddy now” transformations in winter sports history and we truly hope Hamilton keeps it rolling right into 2022. If he doesn’t show up to Beijing with a leather jacket and Post Malone face tats, then America will have already lost.