Down 31 points with 7:31 remaining in the third quarter and staring a 2-0 series deficit to the Golden State Warriors in the teeth, the Los Angeles Clippers made NBA history on Monday night. They didn't roll over and die or take a tactical L to save their legs for the home stand. Instead Patrick Beverly went full doberman, hounding KD until he finally fouled out just to get away from that froth-mouthed maniac. Instead Lou Williams became Kobe Bryant, hitting 150 consecutive fadeaway jumpers to finish with 36 points and 11 assists. Instead, the Clippers came clawing all the way back to win 135-131, capping the single largest comeback in NBA postseason NBA history while Steve Ballmer squirmed like a kindergartener hopped up on too much Juicy Juice.
After the game, however, it was Lou Williams once more who provided the highlight of the night, celebrating the Clippers' unlikely victory by icing his 32-year-old journeyman knees and kicking back with a heaping pile of nachos. If this isn't the most honest, human depiction of triumph in sports history, we honestly don't know what is.
Forget "ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE" (closed captioning provided by Adidas) and "CLEVELAND, THIS IS FOR YOU!" Those moments would have rung so much truer to the American populace if we had simply seen Kevin Garnett throw on a pair of sweatpants and dive headlong into Making a Murderer or watched as LeBron threw his bag on the kitchen chair and pulled out the box of pizza rolls he'd been saving for a special occasion. This is how We The People relax after a long, hard-ass day here on earth, and it's good to see Lou steering into the everyman vibes with everything he's got, right down to the terrible posture and mindless Instagram scrolling.
The final check in Lou Williams' Monday win column goes to his snack of choice—a heaping pile of 'Chos—which is the primary form of sustenance for most kitchen-averse males aged 22-35. Queso is a hard-pass (Velveeta is a war crime, don't get me started), but salsa is a salad, a dressing, and a meal all rolled into one, and definitely the MJ of guilt-free snackage. Just ask Sweet Lou. He'll tell ya.