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Chip off the old block

Steve Belichick finally explained TongueGate on Chris Long’s podcast … with his Christmas tree still up

Last fall, Steve Belichick—be-mulleted son of Bill Belichick and outside linebackers coach for the New England Patriots—licked his way to the center of the viral Tootsie Pop when he was caught on national television cameras doing this.

It was as unhinged a moment as we’ve seen in modern sports, but on Wednesday, over seven months after Belichick wagged that first wiggle, he joined Chris Long’s ‘Green Light’ podcast to finally explain himself. For the most part he did exactly that, laughing off the moment with the help of time and distance, coming across like a pretty normal dude in the process. The only problem? He forgot to take his Christmas tree down.

Folks, it’s mid-June. We don’t care if you’re the hap-hap-happiest holiday nut on the planet, June is too late to have your Christmas tree up, especially if you’re appearing on camera to explain that you’re not a total sicko. Mayyyybe Belichick and Long filmed this awhile back and it’s just now seeing the light of day, but that’s stretching the benefit of doubt to its breaking point. Per Occam’s Razor, the most likely explanation is the simplest:

Steve, because he’s too busy or has a few wires crossed in the wrong places, doesn’t give a damn what other people think. Wonder where he gets that from ...