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Sixers G-League affiliates unveil remarkably ugly SpongeBob Squarepants uniforms

January 02, 2018

On Wednesday night, Philadelphia 76ers G-league affiliates, the Delaware 87ers (not making this shit up), will kick off 2018 in very Semi-Pro fashion with Nickelodeon Night, a celebration of '90s kid hi-jinx and nuclear green slime that may or may not include Jackie Moon wrestling a live bear. What Nickelodeon Night will most definitely feature according to Twitter, however, are a remarkably ugly set of SpongeBob-inspired unis designed specifically to annoy the rival Erie Bayhawks off the court. Feast your eyes on the squareness:

Now we've seen some truly crazy alternate uniforms this year—from the Gators' gator skin get-ups to the minor-league hockey team who wore three different Mighty Ducks jerseys in a single game—but these green polka dot/squareshort combos are far and away the most retina melting.

On the plus side, though, all ticket sales, as well as proceeds from the SpongeBob jersey auction, will benefit Child, INC., a charity dedicated to helping Delaware families and children in crisis. If that's not a worthy justification for these puke-tastic tributes, then we don't know what is.